Once oblivion of what dream is, I rendered in the darkness of daylight, unsure of where the time had gone and what the meaning was for everything. Criticisms from others drove me into my shell; achievements of others made me question my value; happiness of others isolated me into a different world.
This year, I see a different color when reading in Facebook of recounts of achievement and happiness of my friends for the past year. Instead of jealousy, they brought me motivation and confidence, happy to know that things can be achieved when efforts are put in, because this year, instead of rendering in dark, screaming silently in lost, I have finally seen my dream so close that it lights the path.
I finally understand that I don’t have to be jealous of others being successful in computer science, business, marriage or anything else, when I have a different plan. I can’t be what they are, but I am never meant to.
I am a writer that creates a new world.
I’ve written 100,000 words last year, not shiny, but an achievement that I am proud of.
My new year resolution is to publish this book.
There is a lot of work to do – the second draft, the third draft, the Nth draft… the criticism, the rejection, the advertisement, and the publish itself. In writing, I only face the failure myself; in publishing, I need to swallow down the harsh words, wipe the tears, and bring it on.
The bright side is, the challenges will polish me into a better self.
